whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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