Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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