Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
