Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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