I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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