I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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