you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
