I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
