I cannot find my penis.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Randomize
