i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
