I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
