She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
