i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
