Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize