I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
