You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
His nipple licking is glorious
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