I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
