you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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