hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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