11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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