I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
