Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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