this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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