I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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