But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
