wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
how drunk are you?
Several
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
