I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
