that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I need water and some morals
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
