if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
