That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
