I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
