I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i've created a new STD.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
