you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
