I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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