Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
