i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
