I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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