Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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