Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
