Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
