Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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