No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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