he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
