I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
3pm strippers are depressing
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Floor bacon is actually really good
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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