What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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