i think i scared a bird with my dick
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
