were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
