If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
