I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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