so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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