I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
So squirting runs in the family.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
