I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
