he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
