Kiss
Puke
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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