im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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