I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
