I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
