Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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