Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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