I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize