Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
