they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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