Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
