where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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