Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I cut my penus on the lid.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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