dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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