Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
