First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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