Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
