I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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