He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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