I think I am morally bankrupt
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize