I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
