thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
