I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
