East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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