Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Please, let me fuck your mom
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
