Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
