it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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