i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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